ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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