I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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