Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
