3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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