Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
