i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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