do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
