3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think your dad took our porno
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
