If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
