Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
