Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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