my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
