i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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