Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
