We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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