i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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