I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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