We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
