He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
