summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
