and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize