I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
