and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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