we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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