what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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