Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hope mine doesn't look like that
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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