i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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