So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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