I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
