Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
These tits shall not be calmed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
