is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
