He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
