How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
