:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
