somebody snuck up and got me drunk
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
