i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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