I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love having hate sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
