Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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