Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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