She is in my trunk
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize