I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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