party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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