Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
