Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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