I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
