I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize