it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
