I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
