Just mADE A PArabola og urine
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
