$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
