Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
