I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
True strength comes from lack of pants
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
