even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
