I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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