Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
