Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
