Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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