They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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