as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
