I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
