My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
